17.5.06

A Play by Shakespeare, by Pacian

I have decided that I am not cut out to be a computer man. Instead I am going to be a person who writes plays by Shakespeare. Here is my first attempt.
Fair Verona. Enter two men, both alike in dignity: Pacian, a handsome prince; and Yorrick, a frog. They are accompanied by a dog, Spot.

Yorrick: Good morrow, and well met.
Pacian: Alas, poor Yorrick!
Yorrick: Out, damned spot!

Exit Spot.

Yorrick: What light through yonder window breaks?

Enter a man with the head of an ass.

Yorrick: A sail! A sail!
Assman: Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?
Pacian: I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.
Assman: A pox o’ both your houses!
Yorrick: To be or not to be?
Pacian: That is the question.

Pacian and Yorrick both die of THE POX.
I think we can all agree that this is easily at least the equal of any of Shakespeare’s works, with the exception of The Forbidden Planet.

5 comments:

Diddums said...

I was particularly impressed by the thumb-biting passage :-).

Pacian said...

It's nice to see that my genius isn't going completely unrecognised in my own lifetime.

If only Shakespeare had had my way with his words.

Disillusioned kid said...

"If only Shakespeare had had my way with his words."

Or frogs.

Diddums said...

Aristophanes had words AND frogs.

Pacian said...

But with lines such as Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax, can we really say that he had a way with either?