About Me

This is where I tap away at the keyboard and hope that I stumble upon a pithy self-description to throw into my profile. I was born an Englishman, with a significant portion of Irish blood, in November 1983. I grew up an only child with a divorced parent. I have always loved reading. I have always loved films. I have always been imaginative. I have always been rather shy. I’m usually polite, if sometimes inadvertently insensitive through sheer absent-mindedness. Like most shy people I worry a lot that people hate me. I have a very melancholy temperament and something very small can send me plunging into the blackest mood (but don’t worry, I have a pen-and-paper diary to write my depressive screeds in). On the other hand, it only takes something very simple to fill me with childish glee (something like this).

Ah, none of this is pithy at all. How do you encapsulate a whole person? Especially yourself. It’s like trying to draw the seat that you’re sitting on. Arguably I should focus on the parts that I intend to emphasise in this blog. For example I could just write, “I am a no-nonsense yak herder!” and people would know that this was a very serious blog about the trials and tribulations of herding yaks. “When milking a yak, it is very important that there is no nonsense…” Unfortunately, I am not a no-nonsense anything. I am a timid and aimless human being with eclectic interests and a weird mix of passions of varying intensity.

Perhaps I should just get someone else to write my profile. Then it would probably look like this:

I am extremely cool and all the kids want to be just like me. Sexy ladies looking for a good time should call [my mobile number].

Or perhaps a description of a person is just a list of facts and anecdotes such as: I am just finishing a Computer Science degree. I don’t know why I did a Computer Science degree. I tried a physics degree before that, but it didn’t work out. And soon I’ll find that I have to get a job that is the kind of job you get with a Computer Science degree. What kind of job is that? Would it be anything that I can be passionate about? Am I even capable of being passionate about something in the everyday world of ties and paperclips? How does this constitute a list of facts and anecdotes?

Right, fuck that. When Disillusioned Kid wrote in his profile that if you wanted to know what he’s like you should read his blog, I thought it was a huge cop out. But you know what?