I'm starting to suspect that, barring divine inspiration or theft, crafting a plot is kind of like sculpture.
What I mean is, you want a statue - but you get this ugly, shapeless chunk of rock instead. And you look over at Michaelangelo and wonder what the hell you're doing wrong. And the answer is that Michaelangelo got the shapeless lump of rock as well, but he didn't stop there.
Now just replace "statue" with "plot", and "lump of rock" with "not-a-plot".