3.12.06

FIVE!

Courtesy of Diddums: a meme of five. Five what? I dunno. Make it up.

So, here are five computer game heroes with dry, gravelly voices and a cynical, wisecracking outlook. Quotes have been provided. Please say them aloud in a suitably Clint Eastwood-esque fashion, and try not to laugh.
  1. Master Chief - "I need a weapon."
  2. Garrett - "Bafford, like most of his kind, probably keeps his treasures on the top floor of the place. Close to his heart...and far from his servants."
  3. Solid Snake - "Liar! I know that Metal Gear is nothing but a nuclear-equipped walking death-mobile!"
  4. JC Denton - "When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror."
  5. Any of Bruce Campbell's handful of roles. Eg. - "Next time you pass by and drop in, keep passing by until you get to the river... and then drop in."
Master Chief is the most famous - at least to Western gamers - and, apparently, the least witty. That really was the best quote I could find. Solid Snake wins the award for being the most unintentionally funny. What else can you do but laugh when faced with a line like this, delivered with absolute gravity:

They call mercenaries like us "Dogs of War." It's true; we're all for sale at some price or another. But you're different. Untamed, solitary. You're no dog. You're a wolf.

JC Denton deserves an award of a higher calibre - for what, I don't know. Being able to discuss in-depth philosophical and political points in such a deadpan monotone is definitely a skill in itself, but when that same voice also pulls out lines like this, you realise that Denton is in a class of his own:

Walton Simons: "You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors."
JC Denton: "That makes me one ugly son of a bitch."

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